Best Cell Phones

Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had.
Author: Michael Crichton

Where facts are few, experts are many.
Author: Donald R. Gannon

The only man, woman, or child who ever wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead.
Author: e e cummings

Where the speech is corrupted, the mind is also.
Author: Seneca

Precept upon precept; line upon line: here a little, and there a little.
Author: Bible

You're hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You run across (separately) the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary, who all give you directions to the nearest tube stop. Whom don't you believe? Your story teller, for there is no such thing as a completely sunny day in England.
This is the joke from a category: Weather jokes

What do witches ring for in a hotel? B-room service.
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes

Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It allows them to stand closer to the sink.
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

Q: How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just the one. You want to make something of it, eh?
This is the joke from a category: Zodiac jokes

Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
This is the joke from a category: Yo momma jokes