
Who could tell what forms, what visions, what faces, what forgiveness he could see in the glow of the west!
Author: Joseph Conrad
Who made the world I cannot tell;
'Tis made, and here am I in hell.
My hand, though now my knuckles bleed,
I never soiled with such a deed.
Author: A. E. Housman
Whoever ceases to be a student has never been a student.
Author: George Iles
Think it the greatest impiety to prefer life to disgrace, and for the sake of life to lose the reason for living.
Author: Juvenal
Whom did it benefit.
(Cui Bono Fuerit)
Author: Longinus Cassius

You
have just received the "Kentucky
Virus"!!!
As we ain't got no programin' experience, this here Virus
works on
the honor system.
Please delete all the files on
your hard drive, and manually forward
this virus to everyone on your
mailing list.
Thanks for your cooperation.
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes
Dear God: Yesterday was an awful day for
me...
My husband ran off with his secretary,
My son pierced
his eyebrow,
My daughter tattooed the bald spot on her
head,
My dog mated with the neighbors cat,
My neighbor sold her
house to a mental institution,
My Mom told me I was
adopted,
My Dad told me he's gay,
My boss told me I was laid
off,
My sister was arrested for prostitution,
My house has
termites,
My car was stolen,
All that came in the mail was
bills,
A plane, crash landed on my garage,
OJ Simpson came to my
door selling rug cleaner,
And my TV blew.
Lord, please be
with me today.
I was able to live through all that misery
yesterday.
And I will be able to make it through anything today! But
please....
DON'T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO MY
COMPUTER!!!!!
AMENA programmer enters an elevator, wanting to go to the 12th
floor.
So, he pushes 1, then he pushes 2, and starts looking for
the
Enter....
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes
Q: What's the
difference between a car
salesman and a computer salesman? A: The car
salesman can probably
drive!
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes
Comments made
by Programmers when their
programs don't work:
Strange...
I've never heard about that.
It did work yesterday.
Well, the program needs some fixing.
How is this possible?
The machine seems to be broken.
Has the
operating system been updated?
The user has made an error again.
There is something wrong in your test data.
I have not touched that
module!
Yes yes, it will be ready in time.
You must have the
wrong executable.
Oh, it's just a feature.
I'm almost ready.
Of course, I just have to do these small fixes.
It will be done
in no time at all.
It's just some unlucky coincidence.
I can't
test everything!
THIS can't do THAT.
Didn't I fix it already?
It's already there, but it has not been tested.
It works, but
it's not been tested.
Somebody must have changed my code.
There must be a virus in the application software.
Even though i
t does not work, how does it feel?
How come you didn't find it
during the system testing?
It's a setup problem.
And the
Ultimate:
A smart user would never do that!
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes
..... Ya see, we
at Microsoft believe in
making computing easier! What could be easier
for consumers than
having only ONE choice of software?!?
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes