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As a twig is bent the tree inclines.
Author: Virgil

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
Author: Albert Einstein

As I get older, I've learned to listen to people rather than accuse them of things.
Author: Po Bronson

As I was walking up the stair I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. I wish, I wish he'd stay away.
Author: Hughes Mearns

As men, we are all equal in the presence of death.
Author: Publilius Syrus

I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed, but when they cry the tears run down their back!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Elf: My favourite film is about the man who casts spells in the middle of a swamp. Father Christmas: That's called 'The Wizard of Ooze'!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

A rabbit's favourite Christmas song? 'Lettuce with a gladsome mind'
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

What reindeer can jump higher than a house? They all can! Houses can't jump!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes