Best Cell Phones

In a democracy dissent is an act of faith. Like medicine, the test of its value is not in its taste, but in its effects.
Author: J. William Fulbright

Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons.
Author: unknown

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Author: John Kenneth Galbraith

Where love rules, there is no will to power, and where power predominates, love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.
Author: Carl Jung

Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
Author: Bible

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?" 1st customer: "I'll have tea." 2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!" (Waiter exits, returns) Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

'You never get anything right,' complained the teacher. 'What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school ?' 'Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV.'
This is the joke from a category: Weather jokes

How do warty witches keep their hair out of place? With scare spray.
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes

How do you fix a woman's watch? - It doesn't matter. There is a clock on the oven.
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes