Best Cell Phones

Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.
Author: Dr. Joyce Brothers

People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly.
Author: Brendan Francis

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
Author: Ogden Nash

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
Author: Leo J. Burke

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
Author: David H. Comins

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus!
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Why do men masturbate? It's sex with someone they love.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

A Deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf. Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter, and puts down a five dollar bill next to it. The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf- mute, and then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language. "Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the poolman and your brother.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes