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I thank God I am as honest as any man living that is an old man and no honester than I.
Author: William Shakespeare

I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.
Author: Robert Benchley

I think people want their illusions and writers are mostly illusion. When you read their words, you read a flattened, incomplete version of the writer.
Author: Real Live Preacher

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
Author: Ogden Nash

I truly feel that there are as many ways of loving as there are people in the world and as there are days in the life of those people.
Author: Mary S. Calderone

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The storeowner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale. The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat. The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish." And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
This is the joke from a category: Salesmen jokes

"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isn't where I live.
This is the joke from a category: Salesmen jokes

Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

The food in our school canteen is perfect. If your a bug!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Father: How do you like going to school? Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes