Best Cell Phones

I realized that If I had to choose, I would rather have birds than airplanes.
Author: Charles Lindbergh

That's the thing about Mother Nature, she really doesn't care what economic bracket you're in.
Author: Whoopi Goldberg

Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers.
Author: Mary Tyler Moore

The absent are always in the wrong.
Author: English Proverb

I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.
Author: Lillian Hellman

Q: Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom? A: To wrap itself in toilet paper!
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. "Where's George?" one of the men asked, noticing that Sam had returned alone. "He's about 6 miles back. He tripped and broke his ankle. I left him there 'cause I figured ain't nobody 'bout to steal him."
This is the joke from a category: Hunting jokes

Commissioned by a zoo to bring them some baboons, the big game hunter devised a novel scheme to trap them - his only requirements being a sack, a gun, and a particularly vicious and bad tempered dog. Once in the jungle he explained to his assistant, "I'll climb this tree and shake the branches; if there are any baboons up there, they will fall to the ground - and the dogs will bite their tail and immobilise them so that you can pick them up quite safely and put them in the sack." "But what do I need the gun for?" asked the assisant. "If I should fall out of the tree by mistake, shoot the dog."
This is the joke from a category: Hunting jokes

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."
This is the joke from a category: Hunting jokes

Dick and Bob were on a hunting trip. At nightfall, Dick complained, 'We've been hunting all day. We've shot at five deer - and not hit one!' 'OK. Let's miss two more and then head back to camp,' said Bob.
This is the joke from a category: Hunting jokes