Best Cell Phones

We improve ourselves by victories over ourself. There must be contests, and you must win.
Author: Edward Gibbon

We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.' And reality has a well known liberal bias.
Author: Stephen Colbert

Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!
Author: Tommy Smothers

We live as we dream - alone.
Author: Joseph Conrad

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Author: Thomas Jefferson

Waiter: If you know the food here is so lousy, why do you keep coming back? Customer: It reminds me of my ex-wife's cooking.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Q: How many Waiters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, even a burned out bulb can't catch a waiters eye
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a cockroach on my steak ! They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup ! Yes sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor !
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a bee in my alphabet soup ! Yes sir, and I'm sure there is an A, C and all the other letters too !
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes