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He who has not first laid his foundations may be able with great ability to lay them afterwards, but they will be laid with trouble to the architect and danger to the building.
Author: Niccolo Machiavelli

He who is carried on another's back does not appreciate how far off the town is.
Author: African Proverb

He who is in love with himself has at least this advantage - he won't encounter many rivals.
Author: Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.
Author: Aristotle

He who laughs, lasts!
Author: Mary Pettibone Poole

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married, but a tragic car accident ended their lives. When they got to heaven, they asked St. Peter if he could arrange for them to get married, saying that it was what they had hoped for in life, and they still desired wedded union. He thought about it and agreed, but said they would have to wait. It was almost one hundred years later when St. Peter sent for them. They were married in a simple ceremony. So things went on, for thirty years or so, but they determined, in this time, that eternity was best not spent together. They went back to St. Peter, and said: "We thought we would be happy forever, but now we believe that we have irreconcilable differences. Is there any way we can get divorced?" "Are you kidding?" said St. Peter. "It took me a hundred years to get a priest up here to marry you. I will never get a lawyer!"
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

A tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle of hundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied. "The judge'll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We're dead!" "I don't think so," his attorney told him. "I sent it in the other lawyer's name!"
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

The first lawyer questioning a panel of prospective jurors began right off as an intimidating showman. When he came to his question, "Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?" they stiffened and hesitated. Before the pause became too long, the judge announced, "I do."
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titantic.
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes