Best Cell Phones

It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
Author: Al Franken

It's important that someone celebrate our existence... People are the only mirror we have to see ourselves in. The domain of all meaning. All virtue, all evil, are contained only in people. There is none in the universe at large. Solitary confinement is a
Author: Lois McMaster Bujold

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
Author: Jackie Mason

It's not enough to create magic. You have to create a price for magic, too. You have to create rules.
Author: Eric A. Burns

It's really hard to design products by focus groups. A lot of times, people don't know what they want until you show it to them.
Author: Steve Jobs

Q: Why are gorillas so noisy? A: They were raised in a zoo!
This is the joke from a category: Gorilla jokes

What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party? The cat ate her.
This is the joke from a category: Halloween jokes

A little girl climbed into her grandfather's lap and studied his white, balding head. She ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and road mapped his face and neck. "Did god make you?", she asked. "yes" he answered. "did god makeme, to?" she wondered. "yes", he replied. "well, she shrugged, "don't you think he's doing a better job now than he used to?"
This is the joke from a category: Hair and bald jokes

"You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower." "Really? Which rat was he?"
This is the joke from a category: History jokes

A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter's holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know. Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says "Here you go" and goes to leave when the forester says "Waitaminute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this s hack?" St. Peter says: "Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before."
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes