Best Cell Phones

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.
Author: Augusten Burroughs

It is when power is wedded to chronic fear that it becomes formidable.
Author: Eric Hoffer

It is wonderful how quickly you get used to things, even the most astonishing.
Author: Edith Nesbitt

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
Author: Bill Cosby

It takes in reality only one to make a quarrel. It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favour of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion.
Author: William Ralph Inge

What should you do if you find a witch in your bed? Run!
This is the joke from a category: Bed jokes

Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
This is the joke from a category: Bicycle jokes

A biologist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded, "Jump, frog, jump!" The frog jumped across the room. The biologist measured the distance, then noted in his journal, "Frog with four legs jumped eight feet." Then he cut the frog's front legs off. Again he ordered, "Jump, frog, jump!" The frog struggled a moment, then jumped a few feet. After measuring the distance, the biologist noted in his journal, "Frog with two legs jumped three feet." Next, the biologist cut off the frog's back legs. Once more, he shouted, "Jump, frog, jump!" The frog just lay there. "Jump, frog, jump!" the biologist repeated. Nothing. The biologist noted in his journal, "Frog with no legs - lost its hearing."
This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes

Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes

Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. 'Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!'
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes