Best Cell Phones

Beware the fury of a patient man.
Author: John Dryden

Beyond a critical point within a finite space, freedom diminishes as numbers increase. ...The human question is not how many can possibly survive within the system, but what kind of existence is possible for those who do survive.
Author: Frank Herbert

Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.
Author: Terry Pratchett

Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting.
Author: Princess Elizabeth Asquith Bibesco

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Author: George Eliot

What are you doing? I'm trying to call Washington! Oh, haven't you heard? He's dead!
This is the joke from a category: Dead and dying jokes

A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs. He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells: "No, you can't have those! They're for the funeral!"
This is the joke from a category: Dead and dying jokes

An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died. The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said: YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN TUBE!!!
This is the joke from a category: Dead and dying jokes

Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because people are dying to get in.
This is the joke from a category: Dead and dying jokes

Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist? Because they fought both tooth and nail!
This is the joke from a category: Dentist jokes