Best Cell Phones

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.
Author: Mitch Hedberg

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Author: Jerome K. Jerome

I lived what most people call the good life. I was happy, but deep inside I always felt that, with the short amount of time we are given to live and love in this world, we spend too much time loving things instead of people.
Author: Antonia Brenner

I looked always outside of myself to see what I could make the world give me instead of looking within myself to see what was there.
Author: Belle Livingstone

I make the most of all that comes, And the least of all that goes.
Author: Sara Teasdale

What did the police officer say to his stomach? I've got you under a vest.
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

Woman: Officer you must help. I've just lost my wig. Police officer: Certainly, ma'am, we'll comb the area.
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

Police Chief: Why did you ticket the computer? Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a police officer. Officer: "Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?". Man: "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air". Officer: "Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test". Man: "I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death". Officer: "Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line". Man: "Can't do that either". Officer: "Why not?". Man: "Because I'm dead drunk".
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
This is the joke from a category: Rabbit jokes