Best Cell Phones

Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.
Author: Dan Quayle

'Light fuse and get away' may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned.
Author: J. Jacques

I, thus neglecting worldly ends, all dedicated To closeness and the bettering of my mind.
Author: William Shakespeare

Living apart and at peace with myself, I came to realize more vividly the meaning of the doctrine of acceptance. To refrain from giving advice, to refrain from meddling in the affairs of others, to refrain, even though the motives be the highest, from tam
Author: Henry Miller

Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or howWe guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.
Author: Agnes de Mille

The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were often short-tempered. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing. Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active." Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate." The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now." Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner. "What are my choices?" he asked. "Yes or No," she replied.
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window. "Good lord!" he screamed, "one of the engines just blew up!" Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side. The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses couldn't maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor seemed made most of the passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seatsand began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attatched the package to their backs. "Say," spoke up an alert passenger, "aren't tho se parachutes?" The pilot said they were. The passenger went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?" "There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. "We're going to get help."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

"Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.." "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 707 makes when it hits a 727?"
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes