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In war there is no substitute for victory.
Author: General Douglas MacArthur

In youth we learn; in age we understand.
Author: Marie Ebner von Eschenbach

Indeed, history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes.
Author: Voltaire

How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?
Author: Charles De Gaulle

Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.
Author: Steve Jobs

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

How do snails get their shells all shiny? They use snail polish.
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs!
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers!
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

What happened to the cold jellyfish ? It set !
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes