Best Cell Phones

Man's chiefest treasure is a sparing tongue.
Author: Hesiod

Many people think that if they were only in some other place, or had some other job, they would be happy. Well, that is doubtful. So get as much happiness out of what you are doing as you can and don't put off being happy until some future date.
Author: Dale Carnegie

Maps encourage boldness. They're like cryptic love letters. They make anything seem possible.
Author: Mark Jenkins

Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we
Author: Dan Quayle

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is.
Author: Hadewijch of Antwerp

A little boy came running into the kitchen. 'Dad, dad' he said, 'there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face' 'Tell him you've already got one,' said his father !
This is the joke from a category: Beauty jokes

Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty ? Gary: Well, let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink, oink '!
This is the joke from a category: Beauty jokes

Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance ? Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.
This is the joke from a category: Beauty jokes

Your ugly. And you're drunk. Yes, but in the morning I'll be sober !
This is the joke from a category: Beauty jokes

Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks under my bed. What shall I do? Hide the tiddley winks.
This is the joke from a category: Bed jokes