Best Cell Phones

Make yourself necessary to somebody. Do not make life hard to any.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.
Author: Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Author: Lily Tomlin

It's possible to disagree with someone about the ethics of non-violence without wanting to kick his face in.
Author: Christopher Hampton

Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another.
Author: Anatole France

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says, "Alright then" and the man leaves. A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says "Alright then" and the man leaves. The Scotsman gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. He drinks the whisky then start s walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The Scotsman says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says, "Hey where is your big black beard?" The Scotsman thinks quickly. He lifts his Kilt and says, "Secret Service!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night he took her along. "What'll ya have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you, I suppose," she replied. So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one gulp. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. "Yuck, that's nasty poison!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!" "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Shock Therapy Barbie ...car battery and wires included
This is the joke from a category: Barbie doll jokes

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Grunge Barbie ...with flannel shirt and a goatee
This is the joke from a category: Barbie doll jokes