Best Cell Phones

Language most shews a man: Speak, that I may see thee.
Author: Ben Jonson

Laughter is inner jogging.
Author: Norman Cousins

Law is order, and good law is good order.
Author: Aristotle

If you can't go over, you must go under.
Author: Yiddish Proverb

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
Author: Charles Lamb

Comments made by Programmers when their programs don't work: Strange... I've never heard about that. It did work yesterday. Well, the program needs some fixing. How is this possible? The machine seems to be broken. Has the operating system been updated? The user has made an error again. There is something wrong in your test data. I have not touched that module! Yes yes, it will be ready in time. You must have the wrong executable. Oh, it's just a feature. I'm almost ready. Of course, I just have to do these small fixes. It will be done in no time at all. It's just some unlucky coincidence. I can't test everything! THIS can't do THAT. Didn't I fix it already? It's already there, but it has not been tested. It works, but it's not been tested. Somebody must have changed my code. There must be a virus in the application software. Even though i t does not work, how does it feel? How come you didn't find it during the system testing? It's a setup problem. And the Ultimate: A smart user would never do that!
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes

..... Ya see, we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes

One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes

Q: What happens if you cross a midget and a computer? A: You get a short circut.
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes

Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer? Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system.
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes