Best Cell Phones

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
Author: Bill Cosby

It takes in reality only one to make a quarrel. It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favour of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion.
Author: William Ralph Inge

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.
Author: George Orwell

It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life.
Author: P. D. James

It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.
Author: Hunter S. Thompson

Q: When is a bad time to cross a black cat? A: When you are a mouse!
This is the joke from a category: Cat jokes

A little boy walked down the aisle at a wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would take two steps, then stop, and turn to the crowd, alternating between the bride's side and the groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. And so it went-step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR-all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and he was near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed back his tears and said, "I was being the ring bear."
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ? Beacause a little water ends both of them !
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah." Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner." "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

How do you know a Brigham Young student's been mowing the lawn? The welcome mat is destroyed.
This is the joke from a category: College jokes