Best Cell Phones

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.
Author: Robert Heinlein

Promote yourself, but do not demote another.
Author: Israel Salanter

Propriety was a rigid master, but one that must be obeyed if one wanted to keep a sterling reputation.
Author: Lawana Blackwell

Proverbs are all very fine when there's nothing to worry you, but when you're in real trouble, they're not a bit of help.
Author: L. M. Montgomery

How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
Author: Ronald Reagan

Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Q: What's the definition of a teenager? A: God's punishment for enjoying sex.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Q: Why is being in the military like a blow job? A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes