Best Cell Phones

I realized that If I had to choose, I would rather have birds than airplanes.
Author: Charles Lindbergh

That's the thing about Mother Nature, she really doesn't care what economic bracket you're in.
Author: Whoopi Goldberg

Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers.
Author: Mary Tyler Moore

The absent are always in the wrong.
Author: English Proverb

I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.
Author: Lillian Hellman

Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what fruit would it remind you of? Pupil: A pear.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine? They keep repeating themselves.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts. 'Would you like a cherry on the top ?' asked the waitress. 'No, thanks,' said the girl, 'I'm on a diet !'
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Why are oranges like bells? You can peel (peal) both of them.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Knock Knock Who's there ! Bacon ! Bacon who ? Bacon a cake for your birthday !
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes