Best Cell Phones

I have everything, yet have nothing; and although I possess nothing, still of nothing am I in want.
Author: Terence

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Author: Fred Allen

I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false assumptions, not by my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge.
Author: Igor Stravinsky

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
Author: Bruce Grocott

I have made this [letter] longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter.
Author: Blaise Pascal

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room. So now he was completely naked in the halls of the headquarters of the most powerful military organization on the planet. And he felt pretty ridiculous. Getting an idea, he walked naked and purposefully through the corridors until he reached the Research & Development laboratory. He walked in and saluted the Head Scientist. "I am here to report the partial success of the personal invisibility device!"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

A trooper asks a sergeant: - Is it true that man descended from a monkey? - Yes, troopers possibly were. But not sergeants.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first Marine he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The Marine said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Leave this pub right now!" He then approached a second Marine. "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the Marine's reply. "Then leave this den of Satan!" said the priest. Father Murphy then walked up to an old SgtMaj and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The SgtMaj replied: "No, I don't Father." The priest looked him right in the eye and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" The SgtMaj smiled, "Oh, when I die! Why...yes Father. Shit, I thought you were getting a working party together to go right now!"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Q. "Why do the commodes in Marine barracks have the cut-out type seats?" A. "So that if the seat falls while they're drinking, it won't smack them in the back of the head"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Q: How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb ? A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes