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The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.
Author: James Baldwin

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
Author: Charles M. Schulz

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.
Author: Glaser and Way

The proof that man is the noblest of all creatures is that no other creature has ever denied it.
Author: Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

The Puritans gave thanks for being preserved from the Indians, and we give thanks for being preserved from the Puritans.
Author: Finley Peter Dunne

Knock Knock Who's there ! Cumin ! Cumin who? Cumin side, its freezing out there !
This is the joke from a category: Knock Knock jokes

Knock Knock Who's there ! Cy ! Cy who ? Cy'n on the botton line !
This is the joke from a category: Knock Knock jokes

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um...no." "-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, "-or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: "-so if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes