Best Cell Phones

Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into relief by poor dress.
Author: George Eliot

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Author: Johnny Carson

It is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie awake about them afterward.
Author: Baltasar Gracian

Human Dignity has gleamed only now and then and here and there, in lonely splendor, throughout the ages, a hope of the better men, never an achievement of the majority.
Author: James Thurber

Measure not the work until the day's out and the labor done.
Author: Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Did you hear about the cannibal who went vegetarian? He couldn't stop eating swedes.
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

A man is captured by cannibals, every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food.Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "Hey, you can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks!"
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

What did the cannibal's parents say when she brought her boyfriend home ? 'Lovely, dear, he looks good enough to eat!'
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

What did the cannibal have for lunch? Baked beings (beans).
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

What do pygmy cannibals eat for breakfast? Weedie Bix!!
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes