Best Cell Phones

If you would be pungent, be brief; for it is with words as with sunbeams - the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn.
Author: Robert Southey

If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some; for he that goes a-borrowing goes a-sorrowing.
Author: Benjamin Franklin

If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
Author: Tryon Edwards

I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.
Author: Caesar Augustus

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
Author: Terry Pratchett

What's the chilliest ground in the premiership? Cold Trafford!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Why did the goal post get angry? Because the bar was rattled!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding? They got jellygated!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch? He was the skipper!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes