Best Cell Phones

We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.
Author: John W. Gardner

Make a decision, even if it's wrong.
Author: Jarvis Klem

No matter how nice the company one might be with, however, it is never pleasant to have a rifle pointed at one's back.
Author: Meg Cabot

We are obliged to respect, defend and maintain the common bonds of union and fellowship that exist among all members of the human race.
Author: Cicero

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Author: Henry J. Tillman

Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, lept to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest. The nouns met again a week later and one of the nouns asked her friend,"I have one question.Did he sent flowers afterwards...?"
This is the joke from a category: Zoo jokes

FRED: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face with a very fierce gorilla? BERT: No, what happened? FRED: Well, I stood there, without a gun . . . The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer . . . BERT: What did you do? FRED: Oh, I'd had enough, so I moved on to the next cage.
This is the joke from a category: Zoo jokes

A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression. Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..." "Yes, son?" the father said expectantly. "What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.
This is the joke from a category: Zoo jokes

What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus? A virus does something.
This is the joke from a category: Random joke of the day

"I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd wife died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame." said his friend , "How did it happen?" "She wouldn't eat the mushrooms!"
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes