Best Cell Phones

When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
Author: Lenny Bruce

Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off.
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

When you close your doors, and make darkness within, remember never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone; nay, God is within, and your genius is within. And what need have they of light to see what you are doing?
Author: Epictetus

Property left to a child may soon be lost; but the inheritance of virtue--a good name an unblemished reputation--will abide forever. If those who are toiling for wealth to leave their children, would but take half the pains to secure for them virtuous hab
Author: William Graham Sumner

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Author: Norm Crosby

A husband suspects his wife is having an affair with a pilot, but she keeps denying it--until finally the husband just knew when his wife said: "Honey, I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you niner thousand times, negative on the affair ..."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, ''Ma'am,'' he said, ''do all these children and this luggage belong to you?'' ''Yes, sir,'' my mother said with a sigh, ''they're all mine.'' The customs agent began his interrogation: ''Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?'' ''Sir,'' she calmly answered, ''if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now.''
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

The last time I saw a face like yours I threw it a banana.
This is the joke from a category: Banana jokes

What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
This is the joke from a category: Banana jokes

Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
This is the joke from a category: Banana jokes