Best quotes to send by SMS

If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see.
Author: Henry David Thoreau
If you would not step into the harlot's house, do not go by the harlot's door.
Author: Thomas Secker
Ignorance gives one a large range of probabilities.
Author: George Eliot
Ignorance of the law excuses no man: Not that all men know the law, but because 'tis an excuse every man will plead, and no man can tell how to refute him.
Author: John Selden
Ill fares the land, to hast'ning ill a prey,
Where wealth accumulates, and men decay;
Princes and Lords may flourish, or may fade:
A breath can make them, as a breath has made;
but a bold peasantry, their country's pride,
When once destroyed can neve
Author: Oliver Goldsmith
The best jokes to send by SMS

A man and his dog went into a pub. The barman said
"Sorry mate no
dogs allowed in here!" The dog said "Oh please
don't be like that,
I'm trained and I won't cause any trouble!" The
bar man was
astonished at the talking dog and sat and chatted with
the dog and it's owner.
After a while the owner went to the toilet
and the barman saw his
chance for a prank. He said to the dog
"Would you do me a favor as a wind
up, will you go down to my friends
bakers shop and order a loaf of
bread??" "Sure!" Replied the dog. The
bar man gave the dog a fiver and
the dog left.
When the
owner came out of the toilet he went into a panic when he saw
his dog
had gone. The barman said "It's ok he's gone down to the
bakery
for me" The owner was livid "It IS NOT OK he's never been out on
his
own, anything could happen to him he could get run over.
The
owner spent the next hour searching for his dog, walking the
str
eets frantically. As he was walking he heard strange noises coming
from an
ally way, he went down and there was his dog having it's
wicked way
with a lady poodle. "ROVER!" Shouted the owner "You've had
me worried
sick, what's the matter with you you've never
dissapeared like this
before!" The dog replied "I've never had a fiver
before!"
This is the joke from a category: Dog jokes
Why do church bells
never send
e-mails?
They'd rather give each other a ring.
This is the joke from a category: E-mail jokes
Did you hear about the lady whose house was
infested
with Easter eggs?
She had to call an eggs-terminator!
This is the joke from a category: Easter jokes
What do you call an elephant
that flies
?
A jumbo jet !
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes
Fred: You have
the face of a saint.
Jill:
Really? Which one?
Fred: A Saint Bernard.
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes