I happen to feel that the degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes she can bring to bear on the same topic.
Author: Lisa Alther

If a man withdraws his mind from the love of beauty, and applies it as sincerely to the love of the virtuous; if, in serving his parents, he can exert his utmost strength; if, in serving his prince, he can devote his life; if in his intercourse with his f
Author: Confucius

The more rapidly a civilization progresses, the sooner it dies for another to rise in its place.
Author: Havelock Ellis

If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches.
Author: Rainer Maria Rilke

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Author: Steven Wright

A wealthy man sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked. "Give me the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars." "That's the bad news?" the man asked incredulously. "I can't wait to hear the terrible news." "It's of you and your mistress."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said "Your wife's mind has completely gone!" To which the man replied "I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party? They toasted the bride and groom.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring... Wedding ring... Suffering!!!
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Hey, you just shot my wife. I'm so sorry, have a shot at mine !
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes