Best Cell Phones

I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.
Author: Herb Caen

This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men.
Author: Captain J. A. Hadfield

This does not make the authors of those narratives liars; it makes them servants of fallible human memory and perception.
Author: Tom Bissell

This is my answer to the gap between ideas and action - I will write it out.
Author: Hortense Calisher

This is patently absurd; but whoever wishes to become a philosopher must learn not to be frightened by absurdities.
Author: Bertrand Russell

What did the police officer say to his stomach? I've got you under a vest.
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

Woman: Officer you must help. I've just lost my wig. Police officer: Certainly, ma'am, we'll comb the area.
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

Police Chief: Why did you ticket the computer? Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a police officer. Officer: "Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?". Man: "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air". Officer: "Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test". Man: "I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death". Officer: "Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line". Man: "Can't do that either". Officer: "Why not?". Man: "Because I'm dead drunk".
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
This is the joke from a category: Rabbit jokes