Best Cell Phones

Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.
Author: Thomas A. Edison

Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.
Author: Unknown

Just what is it that America stands for? If she stands for one thing more than another it is for the sovereignty of self-governing people.
Author: Woodrow Wilson

Justice delayed, is justice denied.
Author: William Gladstone

Keeping your clothes well pressed will keep you from looking hard pressed.
Author: Coleman Cox

At three o'clock one morning a veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone. "I'm sorry if I woke you," said a voice at the other end of the line. "That's all right," said the vet, "I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."
This is the joke from a category: Telephone jokes

What time is it when you sit on a pin? Spring time.
This is the joke from a category: Time jokes

What is a vampire's favourite soup ? Scream of mushroom !
This is the joke from a category: Vampire jokes

During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!" "The crackers are complimentary," the voice to the other end cooly explained. "I believe you are complaining about your room number."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

A vampire bat came flapping in from a night of foraging, covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the cave's roof to get some sleep. Soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to shut up and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in. "OK, follow me." He flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Do you see that tree over there?" "YES, YES, YES!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Well I didn't!"
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes