Best Cell Phones

There are three things which the superior man guards against. In youth...lust. When he is strong...quarrelsomeness. When he is old...covetousness.
Author: Confucius

There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.
Author: Robert Byrne

One can pass on responsibility, but not the discretion that goes with it.
Author: Benvenuto Cellini

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
Author: Oscar Wilde

I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus? A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that better.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: What is the range of a tuba? A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: Half a measure.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: What is the difference between a dog and a viola? A: The dog knows when to stop scratching.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes