Best Cell Phones

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Author: Johnny Carson

It is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie awake about them afterward.
Author: Baltasar Gracian

Human Dignity has gleamed only now and then and here and there, in lonely splendor, throughout the ages, a hope of the better men, never an achievement of the majority.
Author: James Thurber

Measure not the work until the day's out and the labor done.
Author: Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Author: Robert Orben

"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." "Next time, take off the candles."
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake? Because he always slobbers out the candles!
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes