Best quotes to send by SMS
Henry David Thoreau It is never too late to give up our prejudices.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

Agnes Repplier It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
Author: Agnes Repplier

Gore Vidal It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
Author: Gore Vidal

Benjamin Johnson It is not growing like a tree in bulk doth make man better be; Or standing long an oak, three hundred year, To fall a log at last, dry, bald, and sere, A lily of a day is fairer in May Although it fall and die that night, It was the plant of flower
Author: Benjamin Johnson

Andre Gide It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves - in finding themselves.
Author: Andre Gide

The best jokes to send by SMS
Funny jokes - 50 best jokes Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

Funny jokes - 50 best jokes This guy goes to the zoo one day. While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "F**k you!" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better and he vowed revenge. The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half. The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid.
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

Funny jokes - 50 best jokes A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would have to come from his rear end. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everyth ing you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied," think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

Funny jokes - 50 best jokes The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with its tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked. "If I told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

Funny jokes - 50 best jokes Does killing time damage eternity?
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes