Best Cell Phones

I'm NOT short. I prefer to think there is simply more space above my head for word balloons full of devastatingly pithy witticisms.
Author: R. Stevens

Im searching through all that has ever been hoped, in praise of what can never be known.
Author: Real Live Preacher

Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know.
Author: Marvin Minsky

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.
Author: Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

I have witnessed the softening of the hardest of hearts by a simple smile.
Author: Goldie Hawn

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

Why are women such bad drivers? Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

Shortly after the birth of their second child, her husband offered to take her shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated. As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time, he had learned just the right things to say. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer and slenderizes your hips." Just then, a voice from the dressing room piped up. "If there's a dress here that will do all that- I'll take ten!"
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. "Now what should I do?" His mother has an idea. "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. " I was humiliated," he groaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes." " What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. " We hadn't started eating yet."
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes