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I am going to concentrate on what's important in life. I'm going to strive everyday to be a kind and generous and loving person. I'm going to keep death right here, so that anytime I even think about getting angry at you or anybody else, I'll see death an
Author: Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider

Nothing is too small to know, and nothing is too big to attempt.
Author: William Van Horne

Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.
Author: Honore de Balzac

Now is the winter of our discontent Made glorious summer by this sun of York, And all the clouds that loured upon our house In the deep bosom of the ocean buried. Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths, Our bruised arms hung up for monu
Author: William Shakespeare

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
Author: Finley Peter Dunne

How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eye
This is the joke from a category: Dead and dying jokes

I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare's dead, silly. No wonder he hasn't replied.
This is the joke from a category: Dead and dying jokes

When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave ? Rust in peace !
This is the joke from a category: Dead and dying jokes

Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what am I going to do with the BODY?"
This is the joke from a category: Dead and dying jokes

Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea? Pupil: Dead ?, I didn't even know he was sick !
This is the joke from a category: Dead and dying jokes