Best Cell Phones

We should every night ball ourselves to an account: What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired?
Author: Seneca

I have come to the conclusion that my subjective account of my motivation is largely mythical on almost all occasions. I don't know why I do things.
Author: J. B. S. Haldane

I would be the most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.
Author: Anna Quindlen

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
Author: Unknown

I always consider the settlement of America with reverence and wonder, as the opening of a grand scene and design in providence, for the illumination of the ignorant and the emancipation of the slavish part of mankind all over the earth.
Author: John Adams

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business started going bust and he found himself in serious financial trouble. He was so desperate that he decided to pray for help. "Oh Lord, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto". Lotto night arrived and somebody else won the prize. Joe again looked up and prayed... "Oh Lord, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Again, Lotto night came and went and Joe still had no luck. Once again, he prayed... "Oh, Lord, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Please just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order ... " Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens opened and Joe was confronted by the voice of the Lord himself: "Joe, Meet Me Half Way On This One. Buy A Ticket!"
This is the joke from a category: Lotto jokes

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist? If you say to a psychiatrist "I hate my mother," he will ask "Why do you say that?" while a psychologist will say "Thank you for sharing that with us."
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

There was this General-in-training, and his superioirs were asking him questions "What happened on June 6, 1944?" "We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!" "What was the turining point of wordl war 2?" "Battle of the bulge, sir!" "What's is the importance of May 12" The Man thought and thought "I don't know, sir!" The superior then said "Well, I'll tell your wife that you forgot her birhtday"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes