Best Cell Phones

War cannot be avoided; it can only be postponed to the other's advantage.
Author: Niccolo Machiavelli

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.
Author: Desiderius Erasmus

Ware is a beastly business, it is true, but one proof we are human is our ability to learn, even from it, how better to exist
Author: M. F. K. Fisher

I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.
Author: Babe Ruth

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Author: Mark Twain

What does a vampire take for a cold? Coffin syrup!
This is the joke from a category: Vampire jokes

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy ? Something you wouldn't want to unwrap !
This is the joke from a category: Vampire jokes

What's a vampire's favorite drink? A Bloody Mary.
This is the joke from a category: Vampire jokes

What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.
This is the joke from a category: Vampire jokes

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer." He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way. About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one th ing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes