Best Cell Phones

Never be a cynic, even a gentle one. Never help out a sneer, even at the devil.
Author: Vachel Lindsay

I love life...Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like...It makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good
Author: Trey Parker and Matt Stone

The hatred you're carrying is a live coal in your heart - far more damaging to yourself than to them.
Author: Lawana Blackwell

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!
Author: Jonathan Winters

The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
Author: Charles Darwin

Rigby drove into the city with his girl to catch their first play at a theater. Rigby rushed up to the box office and said, "Gimme two tickets for tonight's show." "Sorry," said the box office attendant. "There are no seats left. We have only two standing rooms left." "Well, I'll be hog tied! Only two left in standing room!" said the farm boy. "Are they together?"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

An army sergeant told Private Perkins to go to the end of the line. He did, but then returned. "I thought I told you to go to the end of the line," barked the NCO. "Why did you come back?" "Because there's already somebody there!"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch? They don't want to have to retrain them.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Did you hear about the Mexican bricklayer who went crazy trying to lay a cornerstone in a roundhouse.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Carmella and Mario were out on their first date. "Have you ever read Shakespeare?" asked Carmella. "No," said Mario. "Who wrote it?"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes