
Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god.
Author: Jean Rostand
Knowing I lov'd my books, he furnish'd me
From mine own library with volumes that
I prize above my dukedom.
Author: William Shakespeare
Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person.
Author: Ethel Mumford
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
Author: W. C. Fields
Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.
Author: Cullen Hightower

A little boy walked
down the
aisle at a wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would
take
two steps, then stop, and turn to the crowd, alternating between
the bride's side and the groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would
put his hands up like claws and roar. And so it went-step, step,
ROAR,
step, step, ROAR-all the way down the aisle.
As you can
imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by
the time he
reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and
more distressed from all
the laughing, and he was near tears by the
time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child
sniffed back his tears and
said, "I was being the ring bear."
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes
Why do women have
smaller
feet than men?
- It allows them to stand closer to the sink.
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes
Why couldn't the
alligator
send e-mails on his PC?
Because it was on old croc.
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes
Do vampires get
AIDS?
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes
Little
Mary was not the best
student in Sunday School. Usually she slept
through the class. One
day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
"Tell me,
Mary, who created the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny,
an altruistic boy seated in the
chair behind her, took a pin and
jabbed her in the rear. "God
Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher
said, "Very good," and Mary fell
back asleep.
A while later the
teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior,"
but Mary didn't
even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to
the rescue,
and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary, and
the teacher
said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked
Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to
Adam after she had her
twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her
with the pin.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that
damn th
ing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes