Best Cell Phones

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
Author: P. J. O Rourke

Humor comes from self-confidence. There's an aggressive element to wit.
Author: Rita Mae Brown

I always wrote with the idea that what I put out there is going to stay there. Once I publish something, it has been published. I've never deleted more than one or two posts from my site. I don't think that there are takebacks. I don't feel right about it
Author: Alison Headley

I am a first generation immigrant and a woman, but I don't really write about that because I feel like I'm a human being. There are universal human experiences. When you don't put your picture online, they can see your soul before they have preconceived n
Author: Evelyn Rodriguez

I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business.
Author: Michael J. Fox

The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase "secure the building". The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh." "Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn." "I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old."
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

In the 1970's, before women were allowed to sign up for combat duty, a man was bragging to his friends about how his sister disguised herself as a man and was able to join the army. "But, wait a minute," said one listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too. Won't she?" "Sure," replied the man. "Well, won't they find out?" asked his friend. The man shrugged and replied, "But who will tell?"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes