Best Cell Phones

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
Author: Josh Billings

Folks who never do any more than they are paid for, never get paid more than they do.
Author: Elbert Hubbard

Food is our common ground, a universal experience.
Author: James Beard

Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings.
Author: George F. Will

For a true writer each book should be a new beginning where he tries again for something that is beyond attainment. He should always try for something that has never been done or that others have tried and failed. Then sometimes, with great luck, he will
Author: Ernest Hemingway

Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!
This is the joke from a category: Horse jokes

How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb? "In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii, dealing exactly with this issue."
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Once there was a millionaire who had a collection of live alligators. He kept them in a pool at the back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, he decides to throw a huge party. During the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finishes his last word, there is the sound of a large splash. The guests all turn to see a man in the pool swimming as fast as he can. They cheer him on as he keeps stroking. Finally, the swimming man makes it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire is so impressed, e says, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?" The man says, "Listen, I don't want your money. I don't want your daughter, either. I want the person who pushed me in that water!"
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

My mother-in-law is like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies today. Would you like to take your pick? Son-in-law: No thanks. I'll just use the hammer.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes