Best Cell Phones

History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.
Author: Clarence Darrow

Hitch your wagon to a star.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles.
Author: Confucius

Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
Author: Walter Winchell

Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.
Author: Mahatma Gandhi

The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. "Elliot," she said, pointing "do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?" The husband looked over and nodded. "Well," the woman continued, "he's been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!" The husband returned to his meal. "Nonsense," he said, "even that's not worth so much celebrating!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is a savage." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is a savage."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

"Will the father be present during the birth?" asked the obstetrician. "Nah," replied the mother-to-be, "He and my husband don't get along."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A wealthy man sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked. "Give me the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars." "That's the bad news?" the man asked incredulously. "I can't wait to hear the terrible news." "It's of you and your mistress."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said "Your wife's mind has completely gone!" To which the man replied "I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes