Best Cell Phones

I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.
Author: Harold Macmillan

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
Author: Voltaire

I have not slept one wink.
Author: William Shakespeare

I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
Author: Matt Groening

Q: What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver? A: The bus driver stops to let the kids out.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Q: What is the basement where White House staffers work called? A: The whine cellar.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship. He said, "My dad's way faster than any of yours, he can throw a 90-mph fast ball from the pitcher's mound and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!" One of the other boys said, "Oh yeah? Well, my dad can shoot an arrow from his bow and run to the target and hold it up to make sure the arrow hits the bulls eye!" The last boy said, "Your dads don't even come close to being faster than mine. My dad works for the government, and even though he works every day until 4:00 he gets home at 3:30!"
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie, and he said we could discuss it tonight in a "National Town Meeting."
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Three Republicans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve Republicans here." The Republicans say, "That's OK...We don't serve you either.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes