Best Cell Phones

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.
Author: Leo Tolstoy

History is more or less bunk. It's tradition. We don't want tradition. We want to live in the present and the only history that is worth a tinker's damn is the history we made today.
Author: Henry Ford

History is the witness that testifies to the passing of time; it illumines reality, vitalizes memory, provides guidance in daily life and brings us tidings of antiquity.
Author: Cicero

History teaches that wars begin when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap.
Author: Ronald Reagan

Hitherto shalt thou come, but no further; and here shall thy proud waves be stayed.
Author: Bible

A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-line dating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck and he said he'd quit -- seems they'd matched him up with his wife.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?" Witness: "Where am I Cathy?" Attorney: "And why did that upset you?" Witness: "Because my name is Susan."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

"I bet you don't know what day this is", said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker: "Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?" With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied that he had recovered what could have been a very bad situation. His wife was indeed surprised: "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed, "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A man was complaining to a friend. "I had it all. Money, a beautiful house, a BIG car, the love of a beautiful woman, then, POW! it was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "My wife found out."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. "It is wonderful," the husband exclaimed. "We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?" "Yes, you male chauvinist pig," his wife replied. "Tonight, you cook dinner!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes