Best Cell Phones

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.
Author: Pat Paulsen

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.
Author: W. Somerset Maugham

At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.
Author: David Sedaris

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
Author: Emo Phillips

At the worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived.
Author: Dame Rose Macaulay

Q: Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site for his summit with Yeltsin? A: So he could look up some college buddies who moved up there during the war.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To tax the chicken.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike? A: Both aren't as successful when they're not on grass.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: How can you tell that the guy who attacked the White house with a plane was insane? A: He seems to have thought Clinton would be in his own bedroom at night. Q: What did Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke? A: "You idiot! I told you to let Teddy Kennedy drive her home!
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: One--she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes