Best Cell Phones

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
Author: George Burns

In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
Author: Johann von Neumann

Touch the earth, love the earth, honour the earth, her plains, her valleys, her hills, and her seas; rest your spirit in her solitary places.
Author: Ernest Dimnet

Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy.
Author: Rabbi Abraham Heschel

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Author: Mel Brooks

If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get? Missile toe.
This is the joke from a category: Space jokes

What do you call a sick extraterrestrial? An ailin' alien.
This is the joke from a category: Space jokes

Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan: Why's that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

What's the chilliest ground in the premiership? Cold Trafford!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes