Best Cell Phones

There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however
Author: Terry Pratchett

There can be no real individual freedom in the presence of economic insecurity.
Author: Chester Bowles

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Author: Matt Groening

I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment, it takes place every day.
Author: Albert Camus

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
Author: George Burns

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again. Person 2: Yes, but it's much more terrible if he doesn't realize it.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks? A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How can you tell someone is a true music lover? A: When they even put their ear up to the bathroom keyhole.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried? A: Because he's Haydn!
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes