Best Cell Phones

Nothing is more like a wise man than a fool who holds his tongue.
Author: Saint Francis de Sales

No one is ready for a thing until he believes he can acquire it.
Author: Napoleon Hill

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Author: A. Whitney Brown

People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it.
Author: Howard Newton

That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"
Author: Terry Pratchett

At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: 'Is this pig?' Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: 'Which end of the fork are you referring to?'
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Why did the grape cross the road? To get away from the grapefruit.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

How do you make gold soup? Put 14 carrots in it.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster? You can dip a biscuit in your tea, but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread. Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes