Best Cell Phones

When Alexander the Great visited Diogenes and asked whether he could do anything for the famed teacher, Diogenes replied: 'Only stand out of my light.' Perhaps some day we shall know how to heighten creativity. Until then, one of the best things we can do
Author: John W. Gardner

When beholding the tranquil beauty and brilliancy of the ocean's skin, one forgets the tiger heart that pants beneath it; and would not willingly remember that this velvet paw but conceals a remorseless fang.
Author: Herman Melville

When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.
Author: Napoleon Hill

When griping grief the heart doth wound, and doleful dumps the mind opresses, then music, with her silver sound, with speedy help doth lend redress.
Author: William Shakespeare

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
Author: Brendan Behan

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. 'Well,' said the Scout. 'Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby brother have it.'
This is the joke from a category: Brother and sister jokes

Can a hamburger marry a hot dog? Only if they have a very frank relationship!
This is the joke from a category: Burger jokes

How do eels get around the seabed? They go by octobus.
This is the joke from a category: Bus jokes

Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Technical Support," says the balloonist. "I do," replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but completely useless." The man below says: "You must be in management." "I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're still in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes